The Last Critic Standing, Hype Machine hater and Crumbler bête noire is lovingly profiled in the current issue of Columbia Journalism Review. As ever, the crumbling infrastructure of for-profit music criticism weighs heavily upon Weingarten. He has nothing but contempt for music fans who avoid the witticisms that spring from his pen each day in favor of simply downloading new music and seeing for themselves whether it’s any good.
“I could spend the whole night trying to find the right words to say something, and they just want information,” Weingarten seethes.
Reading that, I wondered how many nights Weingarten spent crafting the following piece of critical insight:
“Susan Boyle/I Dreamed A Dream: Fuck you, 2009. #2.5.”
Hard to believe that the going rate for criticism is on the decline, what with gems like this all up in our tweets.
Best of luck to Mr. Weingarten. Can’t wait to find out what else he hates.
"Christopher R. Weingarten Parody Rant," Crumbler. So just as he did last year, “Last Rock Critic Standing” Christopher R. Weingarten took the stage of some Twitter conference to talk about how bad things are bad and back in his day and why won’t somebody do something about all the problems?
My first instinct was to calmly rebut him, but as Weingarten would say, FUCK CALM REBUTTALS. This won’t make much sense to you if you haven’t watched Weingarten’s rant, but even if you haven’t it will still be fun for you to hear me say:
"The Hype Machine is a search engine to find free MP3s. FUCK THEM."
What’s important is that we write a thousand blips a year, 140 characters at a time, designed not to educate a public about a record but as sphinx-like riddles to be decoded by graduate students at the University of Who Gives a Fuck.
I crush so hard on Robert Christgau’s Consumer Guide there are paper cuts on my dick.