Crumbler

Hopefully by now everyone has had a chance to illicitly download Robyn’s Body Talk Part 3, which contains five songs from earlier this year and five new ones, one of which is the afore-reblogged and utterly fantastic “Call Your Girlfriend.” In the song, Robyn encourages her new beau to break things off with the girl he’s been dating — because now he’s dating Robyn. In the words of DYFL: “What makes it a Robyn song is that she’s very concerned about your girlfriend’s feelings and wants it to go as smoothly as possible.”

Which — true. But lest there are any guys out there taking this song as sound advice, I have to object to one particular Robyn suggestion for what boyfriend should say. Namely: “You tell her that the only way her heart will mend / Is when she learns to love again.” I hope we can all agree that this is a terrible thing to say to a girl you are breaking up with, as it presupposes that she will be devastated by the breakup and will be unable to move on until the man dumping her gives her permission to date other people as he is kicking her to the curb. “Learn to love again” is one thing to hear from a supportive friend, weeks after the break-up, and quite another to hear from a guy who is simultaneously tell you to clear out the drawer in his dresser that he set aside for your overnight visits.

So call your girlfriend, by all means. Date Robyn — sure. But leave the post-relationship coaching to someone else, because coming from you it’s only going to sound dickish.