February 2009
“In the Hipster Runoff universe, the only acceptable worldview is blowing up the...”
– This perceptive Nick Sylvester essay on Hipster Runoff’s widely beloved Animal Collective post is a must-read for anyone concerned about the Internet’s impenetrable core of mean-spiritedness.
I know I said “Blood Bank” might be...
Department of You're Welcome
“The Urkel Dance was a novelty dance that originated in the episode Life of the Party. It was based around the character of Steve Urkel and essentially incorporated movements which made the dancer’s posture more like his. The lyrics instructed the dancer how to pose: ‘If you want to do the Steve Urkel dance, all you have to do is hitch up your pants, bend your knees, and stick...
There Goes Another One
One of the pleasures of working cops on the weekend is answering the main newsroom phone line. This morning I got this call:
Caller [older, female]: Your paper was delivered with a granola bar today. The ingredients say it contains peanut flour. Is it part of that recall?
Me: I don’t know. I got the same bar with my paper, too.
Caller: Well, I don’t want to eat it and get sick.
Me:...
January 2009
LA Times killing local section →
Of all the recent death-in-journalism stories, this one hit me the hardest. I grew up reading this section. It deserves better than competing with national and wire news.
Department of WTF
“Pepsi has 2-3 minutes of time in the game, with 30-second spots averaging $2.6 million, and one of the spots under consideration features Black Eyed Peas frontman will.i.am and folk rock singer Bob Dylan both singing a song written for Pepsi.”
COME ON.
Kurt Warner Requests HBO Be Blocked At Cardinals'... →
“I know a lot of these guys have never been to the Super Bowl before, and I would hate for them to have partial nudity ruin their entire experience,” said Warner.
Stream a new Arcade Fire track →
Sadly, “Lenin” sounds more like a bad Arcade Fire knock-off than it sounds like the real thing.
After He Finished Extracting Eight Babies From Her...
“Her stomach was huge, indescribably huge,” Dr. Henry said. “At a certain point, we don’t even measure.”
Tumblr as sketch comedy →
“Tumblr: The TV Show” is the best (and funniest) guide yet to what it’s like to have a Tumblr. (via)
“Especially in the first two seasons, we were doing jokes that even the cast...”
– Mayim Bialik on Blossom, which is finally out on DVD. Someone should do a Tumblr of out-of-context jokes from Blossom, interspersed with heavy quotes from the Very Special Episodes.
M83 perform 'Kim & Jessie' on Conan →
Approximate number of times I can hear this song: infinite times. Also, is that Phil Collins on drums?
“From earliest childhood I was charmed by the materials of my craft, by pencils...”
– John Updike, romantic
Blagojevich Claims Behavior Was Just Elaborate... →
The 25 Things Meme
There’s a fun meme going around Facebook right now. It’s called 25 Things and is basically an un-survey. The rules: Write 25 random things about yourself, tag 25 random friends, make them do the same thing.
What follows might be a little TL;DR for y’all, but part of the Crumbler 2K9 Brand Strategy (R) is to tell you all a little (just a little) more about your Crumblers in...
themattsmith:
So, Auto-Tuning a baby is such a...
“In walks these three girls in nothing but bathing suits. I’m in the third...”
– The opening paragraph of John Updike’s “A&P”
The Best Part of Ron Rosenbaum's Assault on Billy...
… Was his assault on Jeff Jarvis:
Besides, some people still take Billy seriously. Just the other day I was reading my old friend Jeff Jarvis’ BuzzMachine blog, and Jarvis (the Billy Joel of blog theorists) was attacking the Times’ David Carr. (Talk about an uneven fight.) Carr was speculating about whether newspapers could survive if they adopted the economic model of iTunes....
Ought-nine is already the Wrens’ most...
“Cancer, diagnosed in 1996, recurring in 2004 — she finally succumbed...”
– Hank Stuever, in his appreciation for Tammy Faye Bakker. Incomprehensibly, the new Washington Post editor has decided to kill the Appreciation feature in Style.
Radiohead to perform at the Grammys →
The bad news, of course, is that now you have to watch the Grammys.
Six-word memoirs of love and heartbreak →
I loved the idea of you. — Audrey Adu-Appiah
Tomorrow, maybe, I’ll sell the ring. — Matt Tanner
He posted our sex tape online. — Lauran Strait
Heartbroken, until the bitch finally died. — Christopher Moore
It hurts even worse in French. — Derek Pollard
Inevitably, his obituary didn’t mention me. — R. Sue Dodea
I thought we had more time....
A version of Street Fighter II that can be... →
Each click both triggers an attack and loads a new video that matches you to the amount of damage you and your opponent have already received. It’s the kind of mind-blowing waste of time that our Internets were built for.
WatchThe Walkmen perform “On the Water” in the back of a van driving around New York City.
I think we can all agree that this isn’t Hamilton Leithauser’s best angle. But the setting is perfect — this is how I imagine all Walkmen songs start, late at night, after a few drinks, in the back of a cab, on the long road home.
France to buy every 18-year-old a newspaper... →
Of all the harebrained schemes to save journalism, this is my very favorite. Completely ineffectual, and yet — adorable. (via)
The inevitable Aretha Franklin's hat Facebook page →
“The $179 hat, customized with Swarovski crystals, came from Mr. Song Millinery in Detroit where Luke Song has been making ladies dress hats for 25 years. He wholesales his designs at many locations throughout the U.S., including Brasseur, Donna Vinci, Maxi, PJ’s, Hat Library, Jean Nobles and Pam Imports in the L.A. area.”
Movie Montages You'll Never See at the Academy... →
We’d rather see this than the annual speech from the Academy president … but then, of course we would.
“She told me that sometimes when she listens to the songs she can forget that she...”
– Frightened Rabbit front man Scott Hutchison, aka Brother / Other Brother, discussing how the subject of the brilliant Midnight Organ Fight feels about the album he wrote about her.
'Veronica Mars' movie to happen →
If we had to pick, we’d still rather have the Arrested Development movie. But this would be a close second. (via)
If Karm City Was a Place We Would Buy A House...
Have you ever woken up one day to find out that Oprah has designated you one of her favorite things? Well, that’s pretty much how we felt this morning reading Myke’s kind endorsement of the old Crumbler Tumblr.
Karm City is one of the granddaddies of the Tumblverse and has always impressed us with its vibrant mix of posts, from Junot Diaz’s cursing problem to the successful...
Ricky Gervais Was Right
Crumbler faves Wall-E and Rachel Getting Married were pretty much shafted. But make a movie about the Holocaust? Yes, you will get a nomination! Also, does this mean I have to see Slumdog Millionaire now? Please tell me no.
WatchPortland Mayor Sam Adams explains his relationship with a 17-18-year-old to the Oregonian editorial board. He seems like a decent guy trapped in a house of lies. The relationship was consensual. They were both adults. No laws were broken. But he lied when asked about it. Of course, Clinton lied when first asked about Monica Lewinsky. And he didn’t lose his job. But Adams looks exhausted and...
Something that made me clap my hands and say... →
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah have no plans to return to the studio and might break up. They’re hanging on by the skin of their yellow country teeth! (background podcast)
“I make it intact to the Mayflower—site of the Human Rights Campaign’s...”
– Seth Stevenson’s account of getting to seven inaugural balls on a Segway. The HRC may have fucked things up last year, but at least they still know how to throw a party.
New Podcase: Protest! →
Megan and I commemorated MLK Day yesterday with a look at protest music. Discussed: why protest songs should be funny, the Trent Reznor Automatic Beat Generator, black poverty, white poverty, war, change, and Ani DiFranco’s wound.
